This blog adventure has proven the theory… I’ve got some perfectionism in me. I’ve been crazy stressin’ over the way this whole thing is gonna look to the cyberspace world the last few days. Gotta have this right and that right… well, what does so-and-so dot com’s blog look like and miss thang at blogspot dot com does it that-a way. AAAHHHH! Then the man who lovingly puts up with me says (paraphase), “just start and let it all work itself out”. And I think, but someone’s gonna click on the about page and wanna know this-and-that, and it should look all put together when they get here. I haven’t done the about page yet, I don’t have a picture, and on and on it goes.
And I remembered some wise counsel I received as a young wife… “Laura, people come to your house to see YOU!” My mentor saw right through me and my excuses and spoke straight to my heart. Marriage, ministry and motherhood have certainly continued to reveal this part of me… the fleshy stuff that becomes an obstacle in my total surrender. The surrender to see myself the way that my Creator sees me. And He doesn’t expect me to be perfect.
But the fleshy part convinces me that everyone wants to see the mask and cover up what is really going on inside. Folks, we do it to each other too, don’t we? Putting on the “together face” at church every Sunday even though we’ve had World War 3 in the car with our kids, lost our temper way too many times the past week, cut people off in traffic, been incredibly rude to some lady at the register who probably had her worst day ever… And we expect when we ask in the hallway at church, “how are you?” to hear “great”! We don’t really stop and wait for the yucky stuff. But we should.
We all know that the friendships that are the dearest to us are the ones where we can just be ourselves, no strings attached. But we continue to buy into the game in our relationships, our marriages, even with our kids.
I know it all started a long time ago for me. Growing up with divorced parents naturally caused lots of insecurity to grow inside of me. And the Father of Lies has certainly put in plenty of time to make sure that insecurity rooted itself in many ways. And those roots branch out into things like trying to look and be perfect. But really, what matters is that I am true to myself and to the woman God created me to be. That’s what matters for all of us.
It’s okay if my kids’ toys are everywhere if you pop by unannounced… I’m a mom who loves and plays with her kids and YOU don’t feel like you have to clean YOUR house when I show up there next time.
It’s okay if I say, “it’s been rough”… and you see that just because I’m a pastor’s wife doesn’t mean that every moment is holy and full of prayer and fasting!
It’s okay if I mess up and yell at my kids… when I say “I’m sorry. Mommy shouldn’t have done that.” I’m teaching them that they don’t have to be perfect either.
It’s okay if my first attempt at a blog isn’t all purdy and put-together… you’ll learn more about me that way than you ever could with all the bells and whistles.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9
Laura,
2 Cor 12:9 is scripture I view differently today than ever in the past. Celebrating my weaknesses is not the cultural norm. Maybe making fun of them… learning to laugh at them… these are typical. But embracing them as the most immediate opportunity for God’s strength to be evident in my life? That’s something I’m learning to do. Love. It.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Btw… regarding the ‘perfect blog’ mentality, did Mike mention my first blog name? We’ve all been there.
I love you Laura! You are so real and edgy and your personality and perfectionism are just like mine. I will be reading your blogs from now on as I feel that you are a lot like me and I would like to learn from your mistakes. I look forward to more! Take care of you and your family!
Ah, Laura,
Great to read your words from your “delighted heart.” I have missed being with you. Thanks for sending your “blog” my way. Looking forward to more…
Blessings to you and your family.
hey you,
so glad you finally entered this world…I knew you would sooner or later!
Aahh..the power of processing through writing. Can’t wait to keep up with the many missed coffee talks through your blog. I’ll be praying for the day of reconnecting in Portland!
Love the writing! Keep it up!
love, seren
Your kidding! Pastor’s wives aren’t perfect? I’m shocked. LOL!
We (pastor’s wives) find ourselves compelled to try to keep things in order (our houses, our kids, etc., etc.) in some vain effort to fulfill some unspoken (ok…sometimes spoken by certain congregants) rule that pastor’s and their families are closer to God than everyone else and because of that their “houses” must reflect this perfect portrayal for the whole world to see or else! We do do it to ourselves. Why do we listen…or care? The fact is, the more human we are….the more our outreach can truly be effective.
My momma taught me something years ago. It was this. “Some people have houses and some people have homes! I don’t like going to someone’s house, but I sure feel welcome when I get invited to someone’s home. Houses have to be perfect all the time. Homes are lived in.”
We all struggle for perfection in one way or another and there’s nothing wrong with aspiring to always do the very best that we can in whatever situation, but isn’t the journey easier when we share our struggles and don’t try to be someone we are not? Our kids, by extension, feel the stress when we run around like a chicken with our heads cut off to make things perfect. I, too, am guilty of this. Our time with them is short. We must teach them all that we can..especially to not let others drive how we lose joy moments by concentrating on the “unspoken” rules and not on our own families.
Great blog! I will enjoy following your thoughts and prayers and sharing the journey with you.
Blessings
I absolutely love your realness in your blog, Laura. It makes me miss you more! You are such a delight in my heart! Have you ever read Brenda Waggoner’s book The Velveteen Woman? NO? GET IT!!! Great book. Recommended to ALL women who want to be real. To all those who want to learn that it is okay for your house to look lived in, not a magazine cover when guests come over. To be who God created you to be AND to accept that He loves you just the way you are. BUT, He loves us to much to leave us with all our rough edges and so, He helps us work on those over time. Love ya! Haven’t heard from you since you moved. Would love to catch up and maybe even….stay in touch! wow. good concept. love ya, tam
Darling Daughter- I certainly am not a “blogger”. Of course I have been called lots of other names by certain people you and I know well!!!
So glad to see you venture into cyberspace. I am so proud of you-always have been and always well be!! My heart leaps with Joy when I consider all the accomplishments you have made in your life. Your influence on others has been tremendous and your care for your family is so very evident. I know that “all will be well with your soul” as long as you are true to yourself and to Our Great Creator.
Love ya, Dad
Hey sweet girl! So, fun to see you are blogging! And your blog looks so beautiful…I love it and I love YOU!