Tonite I watched my beautiful little princess do her “thang” in her final Dance Showcase (aka dance recital) of the year. First of all, let me just say, in case you were wonderin’ … that yes, she was the prettiest one there and the best dancin’ babe you eva’ saw!!
But, it just made my heart flash forward like 12 or 13 years, to when she’s a teenager — and all of the stuff that will come with those years. I’ve prayed many times (since before I even had kids) that I would have as much grace in dealing with my OWN kids as I have had with so many other teens that God has passed through our lives in ministry. There’s this thing inside me, too, that stems from my own upbringing that shoots some hesitation (and even fear, if I’m honest) through my heart.
I remember one night while I was lying on the couch in Sonoma county holding my sweet, sleeping baby girl that this rush of emotion came over me. That, of course, meant tears. I just kept pleading with the Lord that she would be spared from some of the emotional and spiritual junk that I had to wrestle with as a young woman. God clearly spoke to me through a vision in college that I would be the “break” in a long cycle of family dysfunction and disconnect from God. My legacy would be different. One that honored God and redeemed His purpose for the family. But, at that moment, I was overwhelmed by the possibility of her heart hurting so deeply as mine had.
I know God reminded me of His promise in the midst of my tears and pleading because He loves me. He keeps His promises. Time and time again, He has shown me that He will never fail me and He is always on my side. Not only have I prayed since Jr. High that God would give me cute kids (sure did! pray that. and actually get some extremely cute kids!) but I’ve asked of the Lord to help me make choices that would bring Him glory and break the cycle that Satan intended to use to destroy me. And He’s proven that when I delight in Him, He gives me the desires of my heart.
He has already given me all I need to do the impossible… make those teenage years between a mother and daughter be full of love inspite of the conflict that will come. Jesus is my Healer and my Strength. My heart’s desires were realized through marriage and motherhood. That sweet dancin’ babe will continue to be the JOY of my heart, even when we’re tangled up in some teenage drama! And I will teach her WHOSE Princess she really is and help her to delight in the Lord each day so that she, too, will realize the desires of her heart.
What an amazing gift I’ve been given! Britton, I love you and am so proud of you! I absolutely can not wait to see the woman that God has created you to be. I promise to help you discover that woman step-by-step as you dance through each glorious song of life that God gives to you 🙂 Even when the chorus might bring tears…