delighted heart

. . . proof that delight in the Lord uncovers the desires of the heart

okay, guess I am May 22, 2009

Filed under: Mentoring,Truth — Laura Kelly @ 11:39 pm

This blog adventure has proven the theory… I’ve got some perfectionism in me.  I’ve been crazy stressin’ over the way this whole thing is gonna look to the cyberspace world the last few days.  Gotta have this right and that right… well, what does so-and-so dot com’s blog look like and miss thang at blogspot dot com does it that-a way.  AAAHHHH!  Then the man who lovingly puts up with me says (paraphase), “just start and let it all work itself out”. And I think, but someone’s gonna click on the about page and wanna know this-and-that, and it should look all put together when they get here. I haven’t done the about page yet, I don’t have a picture, and on and on it goes.

And I remembered some wise counsel I received as a young wife… “Laura, people come to your house to see YOU!”  My mentor saw right through me and my excuses and spoke straight to my heart.  Marriage, ministry and motherhood have certainly continued to reveal this part of me… the fleshy stuff that becomes an obstacle in my total surrender. The surrender to see myself the way that my Creator sees me.  And He doesn’t expect me to be perfect.

But the fleshy part convinces me that everyone wants to see the mask and cover up what is really going on inside.  Folks, we do it to each other too, don’t we?  Putting on the “together face” at church every Sunday even though we’ve had World War 3 in the car with our kids, lost our temper way too many times the past week, cut people off in traffic, been incredibly rude to some lady at the register who probably had her worst day ever…  And we expect when we ask in the hallway at church, “how are you?” to hear “great”!  We don’t really stop and wait for the yucky stuff.  But we should.

We all know that the friendships that are the dearest to us are the ones where we can just be ourselves, no strings attached. But we continue to buy into the game in our relationships, our marriages, even with our kids.

I know it all started a long time ago for me.  Growing up with divorced parents naturally caused lots of insecurity to grow inside of me.  And the Father of Lies has certainly put in plenty of time to make sure that insecurity rooted itself in many ways.  And those roots branch out into things like trying to look and be perfect. But really, what matters is that I am true to myself and to the woman God created me to be. That’s what matters for all of us.

It’s okay if my kids’ toys are everywhere if you pop by unannounced… I’m a mom who loves and plays with her kids and YOU don’t feel like you have to clean YOUR house when I show up there next time.

It’s okay if I say, “it’s been rough”… and you see that just because I’m a pastor’s wife doesn’t mean that every moment is holy and full of prayer and fasting!

It’s okay if I mess up and yell at my kids… when I say “I’m sorry. Mommy shouldn’t have done that.”  I’m teaching them that they don’t have to be perfect either.

It’s okay if my first attempt at a blog isn’t all purdy and put-together… you’ll learn more about me that way than you ever could with all the bells and whistles.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.   ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9